I was appreciating a delicious seafood paella in Spain when my dad called me to say, "Come home." I told him I was having the time of my life in a small coastal city, where I was enjoying my carefree travel lifestyle. He told me that if I don't leave now, I might get stuck for a while.
I sulked a bit after that phone call, but then reality sunk in. I went on social media and noticed that I had been out of touch with global news whilst I was on my sun-break. I missed out on the part where borders were closing and the Covid-19 virus was spreading (yes, I know, I was painfully ignorant!).
I packed my bags and headed back to Dublin, which had become my home for the past 7 months. I spent 2 days packing, and said farewell to the fair city. Then, I made my way back to South Africa.
When I got home, my mom, dad, granny and the 3 dogs were so happy to see me. My brother came down to join us in St Francis Bay from Johannesburg and the family was complete. I was happy to see them too, but at the same time, I felt a heavy sadness because it sunk in that everything was changing so fast, and my experience in Ireland and gallivanting around the world had been cut short.
The first few days were blissful. I enjoyed staying right by the beach. When I realised that it was not likely that I'd be able to go back to Ireland, I went through a two-day self-pity period. Things had not gone according to plan. I was not able to say goodbye to my classmates, and I knew that nothing would be the same when I returned. I also thought about the fact that I may never see some of the connections I made there face-to-face again.
I had no control over the pandemic, the travel bans, the restrictions and social distancing rules. What I could do, however, is put my focus into the people around me: my family.
The one thing that we had not done as a family in years, was eat dinner together at the dining table. There would always be a phone call, a party, fatigue, excuses...We had not known that we were missing out on each other by avoiding spending quality time together over a meal every day.
I feared sitting together at a table because I thought we would not have much to say to one another, but it turns out that the more we were part of one another's lives, the more we had to talk about. My mom and I started doing online workouts with our trainer who would normally take us for sessions at Ignite Gym. My dad read everyday and connected with friends through social media. My brother continued with work, and also spent time recording music. Granny spent time gardening and loved the fact that she could watch various online church sermons in a day. And I, finished my Masters.
We all discovered more about one another. There was a lot that we did not know about one another. My dad did not know that I could cook. I did not know some stories about his youth. My brother spoke to us more than he had in ages. I grew to love sharing more of myself with them than I had done since I left home.
Every situation brings with it the opportunity to grow. I could not see it at first because I felt like my plans and life had shattered. But, I put that aside and gained so much more from this experience. Here are some of the highlights of things that happened during the level 4&5 lockdown:
1) I baked more than 15 cakes.
2) We got a border collie puppy from the SPCA.
3) We celebrated three birthdays.
4) My granny got stopped by the security for roaming the streets.
5) I cut my dad's hair.
6) We watched all 6 seasons of Schitt's Creek.
7) My dad learnt how to use Zoom.
8) We made friends with our neighbours.
9) Themba recorded new songs.
10) 134 days of dinner around the table, together.
My experience with my family is best captured by this excerpt of a poem by Kitty O'Meara (2020):
"And people stayed at home
And read books
And listened
And they rested
And did exercises
And made art and played
And learned new ways of being
And stopped and listened
More deeply
Someone meditated, someone prayed
Someone met their shadow
And people began to think differently
And people healed"
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