"I did not want this day to end. In the height of the Fees Must Fall protests, I found tranquility amongst some friends and strangers.
I allowed the wind to blow my anxiety away.
I allowed the laughter to hurt more than the pain of expectations being disengaged from reality.
I knew, then and there, that we were privileged to escape, even if it were just for a few hours.
We are the only ones in time and space that experienced such a moment of bliss."
CZ Jack (1 Nov. 2016)
Four years later, I met up with two of my friends who had gone to the beach that day and I told them how much it meant to me. I reminded them about how we bought groceries, drove to Lagoon Beach and went to our friend's apartment. We cooked a homely meal and drank wine whilst chatting about the most normal topics. The lightness of the conversation felt strange, given the intense dialogues we had all been engaging on at the university campus. I think we all knew that this was a temporary escape and did not want to say anything that would draw us back into a fighting mindset.
We walked to the beach with our wine glasses in hand, and relaxed with the view of Table Mountain behind us. The sky transitioned so flawlessly from blue to pink as the sun neared the horizon. The glistening water successfully tempted me to put my feet in the water and embrace the iciness of the Atlantic Ocean.
I feared how quickly the sun had set because it meant that this moment was bound by the restrictions that time gave us. I wanted to freeze time because the photo we had taken was not capable of capturing the tranquility. But it was finally time to go home, and I felt rejuvenated to go back to the reality of living on campus during a university shutdown due to protests.
The reason I am writing about this is because I saw it when I was paging through my diary recently and I really started to reflect on that time in my life, during the university shutdown. It was the first time in my life that I had to confront my own privilege, delve into identity politics and try to find my place. I felt quite out of place, especially as a mixed-race girl with the racial conversations being at the forefront. Between attending protests and trying to discover my own views on issues, I also felt out of place being of a privileged background and simultaneously trying to fight a system that benefits people like me. It was a challenging time, but I eventually found my place, which is not me trying to fit into one single box, but rather the freedom of living outside of any box.
I know that I was talking about a nice day at the beach, and it may seem insignificant. But, in a time when the university was shutdown and I was feeling lost in every single way, I somehow managed to make my way back to myself and find joy in the company of people who also needed to take a moment out of our own internal confrontations. Looking back, there are very few days that match up to that day at the beach.
“You must take life the way it comes at you and make the best of it.”
― Yann Martel
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